


What Life Is

by fortify_countrye



Series: The Silence Series [3]
Category: VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Relationship Problems, kind of, ongoing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:55:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23648827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fortify_countrye/pseuds/fortify_countrye
Summary: Life isn't always easy, but when you have someone with you,the hard times don't have to be bad times.
Relationships: Cha Hakyeon | N/Han Sanghyuk | Hyuk, Jung Taekwoon | Leo/Kim Wonshik | Ravi, Lee Hongbin/Lee Jaehwan | Ken
Series: The Silence Series [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/402558
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6





	1. Things Are Changing

**Author's Note:**

> Hey. I'm finally getting around to posting WLI on AO3. Right now this story is updating on AFF. I'm heavily editing these chapters before uploading them here so they're different versions. No plot has been changed, just the terrible writing.
> 
> There are some drabbles at the end of Everyday Life that are pretty important. Drabbles 11-14 are the important ones.

**Year 3: Semester 1: Week 3: Thursday**   
  


Taekwoon is so close to falling asleep. His eyes won’t stay open, his breathing is becoming more even, and his thoughts are cutting off mid-way through. He’s so close to falling asleep even though the room is getting lighter by the second.

And then Wonshik’s alarm goes off.

With a groan Taekwoon starts searching for his boyfriend’s phone beneath the pillows but Wonshik finds it first, shutting off the annoying and somewhat shrill alarm without even looking at it, probably just snoozing it so that it goes off later and scares them to death.

A warm arm wraps around Taekwoon’s waist and a soft kiss is pressed into the back of his neck and he sighs.

“Sorry, Taekwoon,” Wonshik murmurs. “Did it wake you?”

Taekwoon shakes his head but that doesn’t make Wonshik feel any better. “Let’s take a shower,” Taekwoon suggests.

Another person might wish Wonshik luck with his day and then go back to bed, but not Taekwoon, not when he misses Wonshik so much these days. Wonshik, now in his third and final year of university, had started taking a multitude of new classes outside of university. He’d always done his music class on Wednesday nights, even over the summer break, but now he is also taking keyboard lessons, a writing class, a drawing class and a language class.

Between being a full-time university student and all these extra classes, some that go for more than an hour two times a week, Wonshik doesn’t have much time to just hang out and Taekwoon is feeling it. So for the last few weeks, since the semester had started, when Wonshik got up so did Taekwoon. Even if he hasn’t slept at all, even if he has no need to leave the bed, he gets up just so they can spend a little time together before Wonshik starts studying the day away.

Today is Thursday, the day one of Wonshik’s stupid classes is at seven-thirty in the morning. This is only made more ludicrous by the fact that Wonshik’s last class on Wednesdays finishes at eleven o’clock at night. Taekwoon can’t help hating those classes, even if Wonshik loves them.

Wonshik had worked a lot over the break to replenish his savings so he could afford all of these classes without help from his parents. For the first month of this crazy schedule, Taekwoon had been fine because Hakyeon was home too. But Hakyeon had started working at the beginning of February leaving just Sanghyuk for company, and Sanghyuk wasn’t much company at all because he’d gotten intensely into the game he’d received for Christmas.

“Do you have work today?” Wonshik asks once they’re dressed and getting breakfast.

Taekwoon nods but his eyes don’t leave the kettle as it slowly begins to boil, wishing he had his coffee machine here at Wonshik’s. He can feel Wonshik’s question without looking up though, can feel Wonshik asking if he’s going to actually _go_ to work today.

Since Hakyeon had left the coffee shop the manager coordinating shifts had changed to Vandy, who Taekwoon had barely worked with before. She tended to put him on a lot more typical shifts, like eleven to two to cover the lunch rush, alongside the longer shifts he’s used to. The times aren’t the reason why Taekwoon has been skipping shifts, though. The reason is the fact that Sanghyuk works completely different hours.

It’s stressful, going to work with people he can’t talk to and who don’t even attempt to understand that maybe, just maybe, he’s more frustrated by it all than they are. It’s stressful and disheartening and it makes Taekwoon hate going to work.

No doubt Vandy is sick of scheduling Taekwoon to work and having someone else show up, often for multiple shifts a week. For the most part she seems understanding, having had a lengthy conversation with Hakyeon before he’d left.

Sometimes, if he’s been especially absent for a while, she’ll slip him in to work at the same time as Sanghyuk. Today is one of those times. Sanghyuk normally works the very late shift on Thursday nights, but he’d traded tonight’s shift for one between two of his classes today as a favour to Hana and convinced Vandy to slot Taekwoon in at the same time.

Thinking about work makes Taekwoon’s thoughts drift to all the other things he’s concerned about, all of the things he’s putting a tremendous amount of effort into avoiding. He zones out halfway through his breakfast and, before he knows it, Wonshik is planting a soft kiss on his cheek and leaving.

Hongbin wakes up to the sound of Jaehwan humming scales. Instead of getting up like he should, Hongbin lets himself doze and it isn’t until Jaehwan presses a kiss to his nose that Hongbin forces himself to open his eyes.

“Good morning,” Jaehwan smiles. “I let you sleep in for a bit so you should probably get up.”

Hongbin squints at the time on his phone. His alarm was set for eight but it’s almost nine now, Jaehwan must have turned it off.

“Do you have an audition today?” Hongbin asks, sitting up finally.

“Two.”

Hongbin smiles. “Break a leg.”

“Thanks,” Jaehwan smiles back.

He isn’t at his own apartment often enough to really bother keeping the fridge stocked, so it isn’t really a surprise when he pulls out a long-life milk from a cupboard. No doubt it will be used this once and then forgotten again, maybe he should buy those individual cartons even if they are more expensive.

“You’re going to be home late tonight, yeah?” Jaehwan asks. “Something about street food or something?”

“Yeah,” Hongbin manages to say through a yawn.

Just after Christmas Hongbin had landed a job as photographer for _Travel Far_ , a magazine that has a lot of focus on local events and destinations. If it hadn’t been for his coordinator, Mags, recommending him for the job, he doesn’t think he’d have got it. So far he’s had the chance to see a lot of things around the city he’d otherwise never get to experience and his boss has been understanding that he’s still a student.

At first he’d followed around a more experience photographer, but now he’s allowed to go on his own or with the writer covering the event. The only issue he has with the job is that he doesn’t own the photos that end up in the magazine. He’s managed to wave this off. Going to all of these amazing events gives him plenty of opportunities to get photos for his folio or to submit elsewhere. And when it comes down to it, it’ll look amazing on his resume.

“Yours or mine tonight?” Jaehwan asks as he pulls out some cereal.

“Mine.”

They don’t really have a set schedule of who spends which night at what apartment, only that Sanghyuk always sleeps at Hakyeon’s on weekends so Taekwoon normally stays at Wonshik’s then and Hongbin sometimes stays at Jaehwan’s. More often than not, Jaehwan is at Wonshik’s though. Frankly, they’d only come to Jaehwan’s last night because it’d been closer to the restaurant they’d eaten at to celebrate their six month anniversary.

Nobody else had bothered with _their_ six month anniversary. Hakyeon and Sanghyuk had basically exchanged house keys and called it a day, while Wonshik and Taekwoon hadn’t even known theirs had passed until Hongbin and Jaehwan had started planning their own weeks later.

Jaehwan sits down at his dining table, a tiny thing pushed up against the wall and kitchen counter and has only one chair, and Hongbin gets dressed for the day.

“Want breakfast?” Jaehwan manages through a mouthful of cereal.

Hongbin shakes his head and perches himself on Jaehwan’s knee. “Nah. I’m having an early lunch with Sanghyuk before his shift starts and then I’ll get to have loads of awesome street food.”

“So jealous…” Jaehwan sighs, holding Hongbin in place with his free arm.

Hongbin grins. “What time do you think you’ll finish today?”

“Maybe five? The second audition is supposed to be at three but they never run on time.”

Between constant auditions, Jaehwan is looking for a job teaching music so that he won’t have to live off welfare anymore. He’d already been applying to some positions that on’t need teaching qualifications but hadn’t heard anything back yet.

Hongbin can’t stop his grin from growing even bigger. “Want to come then?”

Jaehwan’s eyes light up instantly. “Really? You’re not going with that arsehole writer again are you?”

“Nope, got Seira.”

Seira is possibly one of the most laid-back people Jaehwan had ever met. He’d only spoken to her for a second while bringing Hongbin another pair of shoes, but she’d basically become his idol at that time. Nothing bothered her. A bothersome question to some is ‘no worries’ to her and she is totally okay with Jaehwan messing around and tagging along while Hongbin takes does his job.

“Then I’ll totally come. What time do you need to meet her?”

“Six-ish since we have to go over what we’re actually looking for first.”

“Where?”

“Coffee shop will do since it’s pretty central. I’ll text her the plan.”

“This is gonna be awesome,” Jaehwan crows.

Twenty minutes later they get out on the street, both in high spirits and ready for the day.

“Love you,” Hongbin grins, kissing Jaehwan.

“Love you too,” Jaehwan grins back, returning the kiss.

And then they’re off in different directions.

Sanghyuk wakes up alone and to the sound of the front door closing loudly. He doesn’t normally sleep at Hakyeon’s during the week but he’d studied unusually late last night and couldn’t be bothered getting home. He also hadn’t wanted to make his mum go out at such a late hour to pick him up since it’d been too late for buses to be running.

He’d practically lived here over the summer so there’s nothing weird about waking up in Hakyeon’s bed. Waking up _alone_ in Hakyeon’s, however, is still relatively new and he doesn’t like it.

Groaning because his first class is at ten, Sanghyuk stumbles from the room to find a grumpy looking Taekwoon on the couch, not doubt the culprit behind the door slamming.

“Sleep at Wonshik’s?” Sanghyuk asks, he hadn’t even realised Taekwoon wasn’t here last night before crawling into bed and falling asleep.

Taekwoon nods but doesn’t offer anything more, not that Sanghyuk had really expected anything.

“Are you coming to work today? It’s only three-ish hours.”

Sanghyuk can practically see Taekwoon weighing the benefits of showing up and rolls his eyes before heading to the kitchen for breakfast. It’s a shift Taekwoon’ never worked before, with people he’d never met. Even with Sanghyuk there it would be hard for him.

“You going to let Hakyeon pay the rent again?” Sanghyuk calls to the lounge room.

It’s a bit of a low blow, one that Hakyeon would tell him off for, but Sanghyuk knows Taekwoon well enough to know he hates feeling like a burden. Not to mention Taekwoon has skipped all of his shifts in the last two weeks. If he keeps this up he won’t have any money left.

“Is it at twelve?” Taekwoon asks when Sanghyuk reappears with a plate of toast, just to make sure he doesn’t show up at the coffee shop alone.

“Yep. So you’re coming then?”

“Yeah…”

Sanghyuk feels triumphant for all of ten seconds before his phone rings.

“Yeah?” he answers after frowning at the name on the screen.

“Where the fuck are you?” the Minho replies.

“What do you mean?” Sanghyuk frowns.

“We’re supposed to be working on that fucking group shit. We organised to meet like fifteen minutes ago.”

Sanghyuk groans. He’d totally forgotten they’d planned to study before their ten o’clock class today. Class that starts in forty minutes.

“My bad. I’ll be there in twenty.”

“You better be here in ten, Han Sanghyuk,” Minho growls before finally.

Sanghyuk hangs up, hastily shovelling toast into his mouth. He’s known Minho long enough to know he isn’t actually angry, he just swears a lot. _A lot._ It makes Sanghyuk wonder how he’s ever going to be a teacher, even if he does want to be a high school teacher. With toast still in his mouth Sanghyuk tells Taekwoon to help himself to the rest and then sprints off to get dressed.

Taekwoon, amazingly uninterested in food, tips the remaining toast into the bin and then collapses back onto the couch. Sanghyuk appears looking somewhat put-together and with all of his stuff only two minutes later.

“Don’t be late to work,” Sanghyuk warns before rushing out of the apartment, door slamming once again.

Taekwoon lets himself fall sideways onto the couch. It’s so quiet here these days with everybody gone. He hates it…


	2. At Different Stages

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor note: the weeks are from Sunday-Saturday. So ‘Week 1: Saturday’ is followed by ‘Week 2: Sunday’, for example.

**Year 3: Semester 1: Week 4: Monday**

“Mondays are seriously going to be the death of me,” Sanghyuk groans. “Who thought eight-thirty classes on a Monday morning were a good idea?”

Minho rolls his eyes. “Dude, you _picked_ this time slot.”

“Yeah, but only because the other lecture available was at _five-thirty in the afternoon_. Just _no_.”

“You get up early on Tuesdays and don’t complain then.”

“To go to _work_. Where I get _paid_.”

“You complain a lot.”

It’s Sanghyuk’s turn to roll his eyes. Minho has been saying that for years, since they’d met in year ten. He’s one of the few people in Sanghyuk’s group of high school friends that he’s willingly stayed in contact with. They’d both been excited to find out they’d been accepted into the same program and would have at least one friend.

“Maybe I should start drinking coffee.”

“You work at a fucking café.”

“I work at a coffee shop,” Sanghyuk corrects.

Minho is about to ask what the exact difference is when their lecturer finally decides to show up.

“This is all bullshit!” Sanghyuk yells several hours later, throwing his textbook across the room. It lands on a beanbag which saves it from becoming a pile of crumpled paper, an _expensive_ pile of crumbled paper, which is why he threw it at the beanbag in the first place. Despite its soft landing, the impact is loud.

Minho turns in his desk chair to fix Sanghyuk with a look. “Dude, fucking chill.”

“It’s bullshit,” Sanghyuk repeats and collapses sideways onto Minho’s bed.

For a dorm room on a city campus, Minho’s room is quite large. When he’d decided to move here, he told his parents it would help him focus on his studies since he’s so close to the learning environment. He’d told Sanghyuk it was because the best parties are thrown in the dorms. Sanghyuk definitely preferred living at home for free, though the fact that Hakyeon lives so close to campus is very nice.

“Come on, it’s not that bad,” Minho says, marking the page he’s up to in the same textbook.

“It’s completely irrelevant to teaching.”

Sanghyuk knows that he could have adopted this outlook from Hakyeon since he used to often complain about the content in his classes not being applicable to real teaching situations. Even now he comes home from work and grumbles that university didn’t prepare him. And sure, a lot of things are good things to know. But if he has to read the word ‘pedagogy’ one more time he might scream.

Minho scoots his desk chair closer to the bed and jabs Sanghyuk in the ribs several times. “We have placement in a few weeks. If you’re right after it I’ll let you complain as much as you like for the next four years.”

“Really?” Sanghyuk asks, burying his head in Minho’s pillow.

“Of course – Hey! Don’t snuggle other people’s pillows!”

Minho clambers onto the bed and wrenches the pillow from Sanghyuk’s grip. Sanghyuk groans and presses his face into the mattress instead. The effects of waking up early have kicked in again and he yearns for a nap. Maybe he should stop playing games online with Jaehwan on Sunday nights after Hakyeon goes to sleep. Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.

“Your bed is comfy,” Sanghyuk notes, surprise colouring his voice. “You smell good.”

Minho laughs and pushes Sanghyuk. “Don’t be gross.”

Sanghyuk also laughs, rolling onto his back. “But really, why is your bed so comfortable? Isn’t it just a cheapo dorm bed?”

“I know, right? It’s great! I got fucking lucky!”

Minho throws himself down onto his back next to Sanghyuk, they barely fit, shoulders overlapping. “How’s Hakyeon … and stuff?”

Sanghyuk raises an eyebrow even though he knows Minho can’t see it. “Tired from work mostly.”

“Ah, I can see us in the future…” Minho says.

Sanghyuk had never thought of that, that seeing what Hakyeon is going through right now is exactly what he’ll be being going through in four years. It’s sort of depressing.

“It’s almost two-thirty, let’s go to class,” Sanghyuk suggests, sitting up.

Minho sighs and does the same. “Maybe we should start studying in the library instead of my room, since we never do anything when we come here.”

“You’re probably right,” Sanghyuk grins.

They’d had no luck when choosing their classes and ended up with three days with big gaps between classes. At first, they’d agreed to meet up and study during those gaps but that had devolved by the second week and they now spent the time dicking around, textbooks out in pretence. It’s amazing how quickly bad study habits develop.

“That’s if we can get a chair in the library,” Minho adds, grabbing his bag.

The library is always busy. In major need of being brought into this century, the few plugs available are usually taken by the first people that arrive. Between that and the lack of tables, Sanghyuk and Minho hadn’t been bothering with it. Minho had suggested they work in the coffee shop but Sanghyuk shut that down, certain he wouldn’t be able to concentrate since that’s where he works.

With a sigh Sanghyuk picks up his own bag. “Yay, back-to-back lecture and tutorial.”

Minho chuckles. “At least they’ll be out of the way.”

It’s true enough, but three hours straight of Sanghyuk’s least favourite subject is just too much…

“I’m so tired,” Hakyeon informs his desk.

“Let’s go grab a coffee then.”

Hakyeon glances up to see Jaeson. The first teachers Hakyeon had gotten friendly with at his new job, Jaeson is a maths teacher who was quickly becoming a good friend.

“Is it home-time already?” Hakyeon asks, he hadn’t heard the bell but Jaeson wouldn’t be in the office otherwise.

Jaeson grins. “Not for us.”

Hakyeon pretends to sob. He’d never deluded himself into thinking teachers only worked from nine until three, but it’s still disheartening to watch hundreds of students fleeing the school and knowing he would be here for another two hours.

“Coffee?” Jaeson prompts.

Getting coffee now would mean either staying later or doing more work at home. However, despite the drawbacks, Hakyeon just could really use a break.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

“You know it’s only Monday, right?”

“Shut up.”

The place they go to isn’t far away, about a five minute walk from the school, but it is part of a chain which is something that Hakyeon hates. He’s only been here once before when he’d forgotten to bring lunch. Right now it’s swarming with students, not only those from their school, but also those from the public school just down the road.

“This coffee is horrible,” he states after they’ve sat down and he’s taken his first sip.

“Is it?” Jaeson frowns, sipping at his own and not minding it.

“I worked in a coffee shop for four years, so yes, this is horrible.”

Jaeson laughs. “So you make the best coffee then?”

“My best friend does, he worked there with me. He doesn’t even need a good coffee machine, he just always makes the best coffee ever.”

He sighs longingly. Even when he uses Taekwoon’s coffee machine he can’t get it to taste the same. He doesn’t know why but he’s definitely going to demand a coffee from Taekwoon tonight ... If Taekwoon is even home that is.

Despite having known each other for almost two months now, Jaeson and Hakyeon don’t really know that much about one another. Mostly they talk about work or current affairs, this is the first chance they’ve gotten to take some time and just talk.

“You look legitimately exhausted,” Jaeson states almost a minute later.

Hakyeon _feels_ legitimately exhausted. “It seems like all I do is work these days. I do marking after school three nights a week and some on weekends.”

“Trust me,” Jaeson says. “You’ll have it all figured out soon enough. It just takes a few weeks to get that balance.”

Hakyeon kind of wants to whine that seven weeks is more than ‘a few’ but he doesn’t.

“What do _you_ do after work?” he asks instead, hoping to learn some great secret.

“I spend time with my baby girl and watch TV,” Jaeson says, looking besotted.

“Picture?”

Jaeson grins and digs his phone out of his pocket. After a bit of swiping he picks out a picture that will show Sally at max-cuteness. He definitely achieves this, and a very cute baby stares up at Hakyeon with big brown eyes.

“Aw,” Hakyeon says. “Wow, she has a lot of hair.”

Jaeson laughs. “Yeah, she got that from Jan, for sure. I was a bald baby.”

Hakyeon laughs too. “I was lacking hair too. How old is she?”

“Four months. She rolled over for the first time the other day.”

“Aw,” Hakyeon says again, missing his nieces and the time he got to spend with them when they were babies.

Jaeson puts his phone away with a sigh. “I reckon you only have so much work after school because you lost your planning period.”

Hakyeon tries not to scowl. Two weeks into the school year one of the other teachers had gotten sick and left and he’d been asked to take over the tutoring club that runs at lunch times until she got back. Between yard duty, detention duty and the tutoring club, Hakyeon ended up bringing a lot of work home.

“What do you do on weekends?” Jaeson asks, trying to get a better idea of where Hakyeon can fit in getting work done. “When you’re not catching up on work?”

“I try to spend time with my boyfriend…” Hakyeon sighs. ‘Try’ being the operative word here.

Sanghyuk comes over on weekends and it’s so nice to just cuddle on the couch between prepping classes and finishing what marking is left. It’s comforting and relaxing and Hakyeon has a bad habit of falling asleep the moment he gets comfortable. He doesn’t know if it counts as spending time together if one of them is asleep.

Hakyeon’s statement draws out a long ‘Ooh!’ from Jaehwan as he raises an eyebrow. “You never mentioned having a boyfriend. Here I was, thinking you were living the bachelor life.”

“I mean, we’re not married so I am a bachelor?” Hakyeon says.

“Don’t flaunt your knowledge of English at me. Spill.”

“I thought I _had_ mentioned Sanghyuk.”

“Is he the reason you didn’t move closer to work? You live ages away don’t you?”

Hakyeon has been the proud owner of a car and a bank loan for two and a half months now and spends about three hours commuting every day. It’s not ideal, that’s for sure, but it isn’t something he’s complained about.

“I mean, I had a few reasons.”

“Does Sanghyuk have a job near where you live or something?”

“Yeah, he works at the coffee shop I worked at. It’s where we met,” Hakyeon says. “But also, he just started uni this year.”

He decides not to voice that the number one reason he didn’t even consider moving is because of his best friend. He hasn’t talked about Taekwoon enough for Jaeson to understand why moving out isn’t an option just yet.

Jaeson cackles. “I’d never have thought that you’re a cradle snatcher, Hakyeon.”

Hakyeon gasps. “I’m not! He’s only five years younger.

“I suppose I can’t talk. Jan’s six years older than me and we’ve been together since I was eighteen so.”

“Oh? We’re you meet?”

“We had a mutual friend, met at her birthday party,” Jaeson explains. “What’s Sanghyuk studying?”

“Education,” Hakyeon grins, taking too much pleasure in the fact that he’s already nodded his way through several rants about course content.

“Oof, how’s he finding it?”

“He despises the theory, but he’s got the right nature for teaching. He’s stupid good at maths too. It’s kind of offensive.”

“Because you suck at maths?”

“Shut up! I forgot to carry the two! I’m not bad at maths!” Hakyeon whines. He’d made a mistake calculating a student’s total on a homework task a month ago and Jaeson had been teasing him since.

Jaeson takes pity but is still chuckling under his breath when he suggests they head back and get to work.

“Woonie!” Hakyeon cries in delight when he sees what’s for dinner.

Taekwoon holds off a smile. “There’ll be leftovers for lunch tomorrow too.”

“Woonie, you’re spoiling me.”

Hakyeon can’t stop from laughing when Taekwoon finally cracks a smile, taking his dinner gratefully to the table. On nights when he has to do marking he sits at the coffee table and works while eating, but tonight he’s just going to stare at the television for a bit, text Sanghyukkie and then go to bed early.

Taekwoon huffs and finishes cleaning up. He’d been making dinner for Hakyeon since he’d started working, hating that his best friend leaves at six-fifteen and gets home at seven-thirty.

“Where’s Wonshikkie?” Hakyeon asks when Taekwoon joins him at the table.

“He already left for his writing class.”

“Is that the one he has to catch the bus to?”

Taekwoon hums his confirmation. “It starts at eight.”

“He’s going to exhaust himself.”

Taekwoon holds off repeating the same words back to Hakyeon.


	3. A Hidden Loneliness

**Year 3: Semester 1: Week 5: Tuesday**

“Sanghyuk,” Vandy calls from out back. “You can finish up now if you want.”

“Really?!” Sanghyuk asks, excitement bubbling over. 

His shift isn’t supposed to finish for another hour, at six-thirty. And while Sanghyuk does enjoy making some money, he’s been here since nine o’clock this morning.

“Nisha and I can close up. You get going.’

“Thanks!” he calls to the back and then turns back to what he was doing.

“Long day?” the customer he’s serving asks, a smile on his face.

“Hell yeah,” Sanghyuk grins.

He puts through the order and sets about making it, enjoying the small talk from his last customer of the day. Once he’s seen to that, he skips out the back, whipping his apron off as he goes. Unable to help himself, Sanghyuk shoots off a message to Hongbin, gloating at his early release when Hongbin has another hour of work.

Hi-fiving Nisha, Sanghyuk escapes into freedom. The door has barely swung closed behind him when his phone buzzes.

_I’m at home. Come hang out._

Sanghyuk grins, happy to have someone to hang out with and starts the twenty-minute walk to Hongbin’s apartment.

Frenzied knocking on the front door announces Sanghyuk’s arrival and Hongbin is laughing when he opens the door.

“You’re so loud,” he says.

“Well you’re slow,” Sanghyuk retorts. “Must be because you’re so old.”

Hongbin gasps and pretends to be offended before waving Sanghyuk in. “Why’d you get out of work early?”

Sanghyuk throws down his bag and leaps over the back of the couch. Hongbin rolls his eyes but joins him, choosing to walk _around_ the couch like a normal person though.

“Wasn’t busy and Nisha only started at twelve,” Sanghyuk grins. “You?”

Hongbin tuts and throws his head back in annoyance. “So one of my classes was supposed to run a workshop today, right? So I took the day off work and then the workshop didn’t run.”

“Wow, that sucks.”

“It does. It’s nice though, being able to afford to skip a day of work.”

“Mm, I’m happy for you.”

“Aw, thanks Hyukkie,” Hongbin says, ruffling Sanghyuk’s hair. “If you’re hungry there’s food in the fridge.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, help yourself.”

Sanghyuk jumps up again to go and get himself some dinner, forever surprised by the generosity of his friends. There are actually options to choose from he discovers as he peers into the fridge. It takes longer than it should for him to decide on the leftover pasta and throw it into the microwave.

A few minutes later, scorching hot container secured in a tea towel, Sanghyuk saunters back into the lounge room. He’s surprised to find Jaehwan in the room, not having heard him, and standing by the front door with Hongbin.

“Don’t tease,” Hongbin is mumbling with a pout.

“You love it,” Jaehwan smirks, pausing from putting on his shoes to kiss Hongbin.

“I love you,” Hongbin grins back.

Another kiss. “I love you more.”

“Urgh,” Sanghyuk groans as he puts down his food on the coffee table.

“Someone’s jealous,” Jaehwan sings.

Sanghyuk doesn’t grace Jaehwan with an answer, probably because he’s entirely right. He’s painfully envious of them in this very moment and instead of admit that he violently stabs at the pasta before shovelling it into his mouth, ignoring the burn.

“Bye,” Hongbin says, planting one more kiss on Jaehwan’s lips.

Jaehwan returns the kiss, pulls on his shoes, shouts a farewell to Sanghyuk and then leaves before the Sanghyuk can reply. Hongbin is still grinning when he sits back down.

“Why was Jaehwan here?” Sanghyuk wonders between mouthfuls. “Or where’s he going? I guess? Both. Either.”

Hongbin rolls his eyes, also slightly confused if Jaehwan is living here or not. “He came for a nap after a job interview this afternoon and now he’s going to see his mum.”

“You didn’t want to go with him?”

As far as Sanghyuk knows, Hongbin loves Jaehwan’s family. He goes to see them every chance he gets so Sanghyuk is surprised he didn’t jump on the opportunity today.

“He didn’t tell me until after he woke up, and by then I’d already told you to come.”

“You could have gone,” Sanghyuk mutters.

Hongbin waves him off and rolls his eyes. “I wanted to hang out.”

Sanghyuk feels grateful for that, but at the same time his heart gives a painful tug because Hongbin is actually sacrificing time he could spend with his boyfriend. It must be nice to feel like you spend enough time together.

“What’s with the face?” Hongbin questions, turning on a game he knows Sanghyuk and Jaehwan play all the time.

“What face?” Sanghyuk demands around a mouthful of food, a mouthful he’d shovelled in the moment Hongbin started asking in an attempt to not answer.

Hongbin frowns at his friend and wonders if he should bring up the things he’s been concerned about. Maybe he shouldn’t bring it up directly…

“When do you have placement?” he asks instead.

“Next week,” Sanghyuk answers, scraping the container clean.

He can’t believe that they had only been at uni for five weeks and already they were going to have placement. Admittedly they’re basically only there to watch real teachers work, but it still seemed too early.

“Hakyeon’s school is already on term break, right?”

 _So much for not bringing it up directly_ , Hongbin scolds himself.

“Yeah… He doesn’t get any time off though,” Sanghyuk explains.

“Oh,” Hongbin mutters. “You might be able to squeeze in a date anyway.”

“Ha, I doubt it. It’s been weeks since we went on a date,” Sanghyuk laughs humourlessly. “It’s been weeks since we’ve even had sex. Do you know what I would do for Hakyeon to just hang out with me _outside_ of his apartment?!”

Well, this isn’t where Hongbin had meant the conversation to go. Sure, he’d been a little worried about Hakyeon and Sanghyuk because they only seem to see each other on weekends, but he hadn’t known that Sanghyuk was this bothered by it all.

“It … It doesn’t even feel like Hakyeon is my boyfriend sometimes.”

Hongbin’s eyes widen, not expecting such a serious admission from the teen. Where’d the happy-go-lucky Sanghyuk gone?

“You mean … that you don’t love Hakyeon anymore?”

“No!” Sanghyuk says. “Nothing like that. I just mean that it feels like a long distance relationship. I wasn’t even this lonely when I was single.”

He swallows hard and for a second Hongbin is afraid that Sanghyuk is going to cry, something he’s never seen before and doesn’t really want to.

“I’m gonna go home,” Sanghyuk mutters, already on his feet. “Sorry for venting at you…”

Hongbin can’t say anything, he just watches as Sanghyuk leaves, mind reeling after his confession. He should have said more, told Sanghyuk that Hakyeon is probably doing his best to try balance everything in his life.

Ten minutes later he’s still sitting in the same spot, wondering how it is that his friends can all be dealing with the same issue in such different ways.

 _I’m worried about Sanghyuk and Hakyeon_ , he texts Jaehwan.

Barely a minute later Jaehwan sends his response. _Last week it was Wonshik and Taekwoon, make up your mind._

That’s true. Last week Hongbin had only seen Wonshik when he was leaving or getting home or intensely focussed on studying. He’d seen Taekwoon even less and when he _had_ , Taekwoon hadn’t graced him with a single word. Are Taekwoon and Wonshik okay?

_Did Sanghyuk leave already? Want me to pick you up?_

Jaehwan wouldn’t be texting while driving which means he’d probably stopped off at his own apartment to get changed.

_Sure._

“I really don’t like that car, Jaehwan,” his mother says – not for the first time – when they arrive. “It looks unsafe.”

Jaehwan rolls his eyes and kisses her cheek. “It passed the road-safety test, it’s fine. Besides, I can’t afford anything else.”

Jaehwan’s car is a bit of a bomb but it gets him from A to B and that’s all that matters to him. When it gets parked next to Hakyeon’s shiny new car it _is_ kind of sad. It’s less sad when Jaehwan remembers he bought his for three thousand out of his savings and Hakyeon required a loan for his.

Hongbin is pulled into a tight hug by Minji and then tugged into the house. “Jaehwan said you weren’t coming today.”

“Changed my mind,” Hongbin grins.

His mood is already beginning to perk up, no doubt because there are always people here that can make him laugh. This house truly feels like a home, so different to what he’d grown up in until meeting Wonshik.

Jaehwan watches Hongbin get drawn further into the house and can’t help grinning. There’s nothing more satisfying than knowing that Hongbin is comfortable here and that his family likes him.


	4. Fighting for Direction

Chapter 4 – Fighting for Direction

**Year 3: Semester 1: Week 5: Wednesday+Thursday**

**Wednesday:**

Wonshik knows that learning a language is hard and time consuming, he _i_ s majoring in French after all, but he still doesn’t regret starting Japanese classes. He’d had a choice between Italian and Japanese and chosen Japanese for the simple fact that it would probably end up being more applicable in his life since Taekwoon’s family speaks it. If he tried, he could probably convince Taekwoon to tutor him but so far that hasn’t been necessary. Really, the only thing Taekwoon doesn’t like about the class, is the times it’s scheduled at.

Designed for people who work full-time during the day, the classes are very late, though part of that was Wonshik’s choice. The first session of the week is on Wednesday, from nine o’clock at night until eleven. When Wonshik first read this, the part of him that loves sleep rebelled and he asked if there was another slot on Wednesday. There is, but if falls during the same time as his music class, and Wonshik just isn’t ready to give that up.

The second class is slightly more reasonable, from six until eight on Thursday nights. Since the building the class takes place is only a few buildings down from where he lives, Thursdays mean he can have dinner before class. Today is not Thursday, though, and Wonshik thinks his stomach is trying to eat itself.

“Wonshik, paying attention please?”

He snaps up, drawn out of thoughts that were darting between food and the assignments his writing class has due tomorrow morning. Riko is a good teacher, able to move the class along at a pace that is good for all students. She’s also good at spotting who’s not focussed and calling them out.

Wonshik has a good rapport with Riko. She appreciates the hard workers and understands that just about everyone in the class has other stuff going on. Enthusiastic students lift up the class and Riko has time for everyone’s questions, even if that means running a little over time.

Considering how long the class has been running, only nine weeks, Wonshik is surprised by how much they’ve learnt and the rate that they’re progressing through the textbook. They haven’t reached any super difficult grammar yet and for that Wonshik is glad.

“Let’s get started on the unit on occupations,” Riko calls.

More than half of the students in the room are here to prepare for their jobs in some way, either because they’re going to be making trips or moving to Japan. Others are university students, people just interested in the language and a few that just wanted to try something new.

“If you currently have a job,” Riko says, “talk about that one. If you don’t, talking about a job you might want.”

These days Wonshik finds it hard to get his brain to shut up unless he’s completely focussed on what he’s studying. Being asleep and unaware of the world is also nice. Walking from place to place used to be a way for Wonshik to clear his head, but these days it just means he has time to circle around all of the things he’s worried. As it is, post-Japanese walk to Taekwoon’s, Wonshik is still asking himself what job he wants.

He’s been floundering. Searching for some idea of what he should do with his life. When university is finished, what is he going to do? He doesn’t know when, but at some point, the dream of being a rapper had slipped away. He still loves his music class on Wednesdays and he still loves writing and creating music, but somewhere in the last few months it stopped being what he wants to do for a living.

This shift had triggered a minor panic and the somewhat sudden enrolment in all of these extra classes. The uncertainty that’s coming with graduation, the nagging feeling at the back of his mind that he needs to find something and soon, has been driving him slightly crazy.

He still absolutely loves music and the keyboard he’d gotten from Taekwoon for Christmas had given him an idea. What about teaching music? He’d really enjoyed the keyboard classes he had as a kid, they’d been an escape during a bad time in his life. Could he ever play well enough to teach other people to play? He doesn’t know, and that’s why he’s going to a two-hour keyboard class on Sundays.

Is he good at writing? His minor is in literature, and the lecturer he’s had for the last two years always notes that his assignments are well written, even the ones he rushed the day before. But does that make him a good writer? Could be write an article? Or is his writing ability confined to academia? He doesn’t know, and that’s why he’s taking an introductory writing class twice a week now.

The drawing class he’d started was something he’d literally done on a whim. He’d been more curious to see if it was something he _could_ do rather than something he wanted to make a career out of it. For the most part it has become a class that is relaxing and great for destressing. Except that he chose to do a class that has assignments.

Actually, all of the classes he chose have assignments. He’d wanted to know how well he could do and at the time the assignments didn’t seem like they’d be a big deal. After all, if he was going to pay for a class, he wanted an honest assessment of his ability by the end. What he had failed to consider was that this would be extra assignments on top of all of his university assignments. The outcome of this is that he has something due every single week, but he’s dealing with it the best he can.

Back when he first started university, he’d been so determined. He hadn’t cared about the people telling him that his degree wasn’t going to get him anything in the long run, and he hadn’t made a backup plan because he _knew_ he was going to be a rapper or involved in music in some way or another. Now, he often finds himself thinking that those people were right. He’s so close to graduation, just two short semesters away, and he doesn’t know what he wants to do and his degree isn’t going to give him any direction.

He knows that he should talk to someone about all of this, probably a careers counsellor, but he hasn’t even brought it up with his friends or family. They’re all confused about why he suddenly took on all of these classes and he doesn’t have an answer for them beyond ‘because I want to try them.’

He hasn’t spoken to Taekwoon either. Taekwoon who is so obviously the one keeping him and Hakyeon afloat in their hectic lives while he himself is drowning. He hasn’t outright asked, but Wonshik is pretty sure that Taekwoon hasn’t applied to a single job since graduating. The topic became taboo right around Christmas and bringing it up triggers panic in Taekwoon’s eyes and he would go as far as to completely ignore them and run away to avoid it. Taekwoon’s level of discomfort and clear anxiety around the topic had quickly stopped Wonshik and Hakyeon from asking.

Neither of them like forcing Taekwoon into things he doesn’t want to do, but Wonshik hates the thought hanging around in his mind that suspects that the reason Taekwoon isn’t looking for jobs is because he considers himself incapable of it. He’s heard Taekwoon try to explain his thoughts before, heard Hakyeon talk about what Taekwoon was like in his teens, and he knows that this is exactly the kind of thing Taekwoon would think.

Sighing because they’re both kind of screwed, Wonshik climbs the stairs up to Taekwoon’s apartment. Sleeping at Taekwoon’s place on Wednesday night had become a regular thing since he started his writing class. Since the bus stop is closer to Taekwoon’s apartment than his own, Wonshik considered the longer walk the night before worth it for the shorter walk in the morning.

If not for his writing class being so early tomorrow morning, then Wonshik would be getting in some work on the essay for his literature class despite it being eleven-thirty. But he does, and it _has_ been an incredibly long day, what with leaving home at nine o’clock this morning and returning only for an early dinner before music and Japanese. 

Taekwoon is always still awake when Wonshik crawls into bed. He folds himself into Wonshik’s arms the moment he’s under the covers, only putting his phone down so that Wonshik can get to sleep.

“Good night,” Wonshik whispers.

Taekwoon doesn’t answer but shifts slightly so he can press a kiss to Wonshik’s jaw before nestling back down. It’s enough for Wonshik.

**Thursday:**

The stillness of the room is broken by Taekwoon jerking awake from a nightmare. The seconds following are a fight for air as he tries to remember how to breathe, how to draw air in far enough to work. It’s a familiar routine and, though he doesn’t remember what it was about this time, Taekwoon can’t bring himself go back to sleep, even knowing he can’t have slept long. As quietly as he can, Taekwoon climbs out of bed.

Low on the couch with his feet on the coffee table and a blanket around his shoulders, Taekwoon stares blankly at the TV. It’s on the lowest volume, playing one of the many movies they’d downloaded over the years, but he isn’t really watching it. Instead he’s missing the days when he’d wake up from nightmares and seek comfort in Wonshik. It wasn’t long ago, but with Wonshik so busy and so tired, Taekwoon really doesn’t want to wake him.

Feeling childish for not only having nightmares in the first place, but also for wanting comfort, and like a burden to everyone around him, Taekwoon doesn’t even check what unreasonable hour it is as he settles in for a night on the couch.

Eventually, feeling like his eyelids have been glued open, Hakyeon’s alarm goes off at five-fifteen the same way it does every morning and he’s discovered. “Do you even sleep anymore?” Hakyeon asks as he stumbles out of his room.

Without speaking, Taekwoon accuses Hakyeon of the same, noting the dark marks under his eyes. He would never say it out loud though, because like Wonshik, Hakyeon is working hard and doing what he wants. They both need support right now, not criticism.

Hakyeon perches himself on the arm of the couch and fixes Taekwoon’s hair. “Did you have a nightmare?”

Taekwoon’s eyes flicker away and Hakyeon has his confirmation. So many years of watching for Taekwoon’s little signals, twenty years of non-verbal cues, and Hakyeon often doesn’t even need Taekwoon to talk.

“You didn’t tell Wonshik?” Hakyeon asks softly.

He hasn’t had much time to talk to Taekwoon and Wonshik lately, or anyone at all, really, and doesn’t know what’s going on with them. Wonshik is just busy, either in class or working on stuff for class. It’s admirable how much he’s working, but Hakyeon doesn’t understand why he’s going through the effort. And while he finds Wonshik’s workload concerning, it’s Taekwoon that he’s actually worried about.

It’s been a long time since Hakyeon hasn’t known what’s going on with Taekwoon, since high school, and yet here they are once again. Taekwoon hasn’t been sharing, even when Hakyeon finds the time to ask. Why isn’t he talking as much? When did that start? What are his days like? Is he looking for jobs? Why does it feel like he’s stopped coming to Hakyeon for support? It isn’t like he’s going to Wonshik instead, either, or there would be some talking happening.

Taekwoon doesn’t answer these questions, and he doesn’t answer Hakyeon’s question now. He can see that Hakyeon is tired. Instead of worrying about Taekwoon’s problems, he should be spending some time with Sanghyuk or getting some extra sleep. Taekwoon doesn’t feel like he has the right to bring more stress to Hakyeon.

“Taekwoon?” Hakyeon says softly, and Taekwoon looks at him because he knows that’s what Hakyeon wants.

Not for the first time in his life, Hakyeon feels genuinely worried about Taekwoon’s well-being. He sees the dark bags that have become a permanent fixture under Taekwoon’s eyes. He sees how pale Taekwoon is and how grown-out his hair is. He sees that Taekwoon is talking less.

“You’re going to be late for work,” Taekwoon says before Hakyeon can gather his thoughts and say something. He doesn’t want to talk.

Hakyeon sighs and lets Taekwoon have this escape, knowing that at some point he might have to force the conversation. “Get some sleep today,” he says and then he gets up and starts getting ready for the day.

It’s really not long after Hakyeon has left that Wonshik emerges, looking resentful of his alarm. “How long have you been awake?” he asks, running a hand over his face.

Since he has a freshly empty cup of coffee in front of him, the smell still present, Taekwoon hopes it doesn’t look like he’s been sitting out here for hours. “Not long,” he says.

Wonshik hugs Taekwoon over the back of the couch, squeezing him tightly and pressing a kiss behind his ear. “Okay. Can you do me a favour and proofread the article I wrote for class?”

The article is Wonshik’s first article and it’s going to be marked and contribute to his final result for his writing class. He’d chosen to write about the street food event that Hongbin went to for work two weeks ago and even gotten him to provide a few photos. Wonshik thinks it’s good, but it’s his first article.

Taekwoon nods. “Laptop?”

Wonshik grins and disentangles himself to stand up, bounding into his room to retrieve his laptop in a much more awake fashion than he emerged just before. When he returns, he plants a kiss on Taekwoon’s cheek and hands over the laptop.

“Be brutally honest please,” he says. “I’m gonna go get ready.”

Taekwoon nods again and sets to work. Feeling slightly unqualified to be editing Wonshik’s work since Wonshik writes great essays, Taekwoon limits himself to typos, weird word choices and punctuation. He finds very few of these mistakes and halfway through is so swept up in the article and the amazing looking food in the photos that he forgets what he was supposed to be doing and has to start over.

“How’d it go?” Wonshik asks when he’s finished showering.

“Good. Only small things. I really liked it.”

Wonshik fights off a grin as he bends down to kiss Taekwoon in thanks. “You’re biased,” he says

Taekwoon shrugs. He’s not surprised that Wonshik’s essay skills transfer over well to a different style since he’s skilled with words in the first place. Taekwoon often revisits Wonshik’s songs, whether stuff he’s managed to record or just the lyrics, because he enjoys the way Wonshik uses words. It’s something he admires greatly because he’s never been good at it himself.

“Let’s have breakfast?” Wonshik suggests and Taekwoon agrees.

Once Wonshik is fed and packed for the day, he kisses Taekwoon one more time and heads off to catch his bus. Taekwoon cleans up any mess made by Wonshik and Hakyeon and then returns to the couch.

Between classes on Thursdays, Wonshik normally chooses to fight for a seat in the library rather than make the trek home. Today, though, since he’d forgotten the notes he’d planned on typing up before class, Wonshik decides that it’s worth the trip to Taekwoon’s place.

When Wonshik lets himself in at nearly eleven, his thoughts are completely on his notes and his first stop is Taekwoon’s bedroom to confirm they’re on the desk like he thought. They are. What isn’t in Taekwoon’s room, is Taekwoon. And he wasn’t in the lounge room or kitchen. Wonshik frowns to himself for a second because Taekwoon’s shoes are definitely by the door.

Wondering if Taekwoon could be in Hakyeon’s room, Wonshik starts to the door but then freezes when he catches sight of Taekwoon in the corner of his eye. Slumped over on the couch in a way that looks very unintentional, all twisted and uncomfortable, Taekwoon is very asleep.

Wonshik sighs, now recognising Taekwoon’s lie about how early he got up. He hopes he missed it because he’d been distracted by his article and not because he’s shit and resolves to do better on the communicating with Taekwoon front.

He fetches Taekwoon’s pillow and then kneels down next to the couch. “Taekwoon,” he murmurs, softly stroking Taekwoon’s cheek.

“Mm,” Taekwoon mumbles back, unable to get his eyes open.

“Move up this way,” Wonshik says, guiding Taekwoon as he wiggles up until his head is sinking into his pillow.

“Mm,” Taekwoon mumbles again.

Wonshik smiles. “You’re welcome,” he whispers.

He pulls the blanket down off the back of the couch and wriggles his way on next to Taekwoon. They barely fit at all and Wonshik has to hook a leg over Taekwoon’s so that he doesn’t fall off. All of the jostling has Taekwoon fighting to wake up but Wonshik just hums and cuddles closer.

“Go back to sleep,” he urges quietly. Not for a second does he regret deciding to spend his precious study time sleeping because he’d rather be here and know that Taekwoon is getting some rest than worry while in the other room.

Taekwoon wakes up alone, feeling drowsy from the unplanned nap and confused by the pillow he didn’t have before. Normally a very light sleeper that has trouble staying asleep, Taekwoon is surprised to find out that it’s almost six-thirty. He’d slept the day away.

Still a little groggy and feeling pretty stiff in the joints, Taekwoon heaves himself off the couch so he can get started on dinner. He always makes dinner for Hakyeon and tonight Wonshik will eat when he gets home from his drawing class at eight. It feels like the least he can do, making sure they’re eating well when they’re working so hard and he spends his days here doing nothing.


	5. What's for Dinner?

**Year 3: Semester 1: Week 6: Monday**

“Guess who got another call-back?” Jaehwan sings, letting himself into the apartment and kicking off his shoes.

He’d auditioned for a lead role last week and since then had been called back in to audition another two times for the same role. It’s kind of exciting because it means he still has a chance, but a little heartbreaking too since getting a call-back means that he hadn’t been good enough to beat everybody else.

“That would be my wonderful, marvellous, talented boyfriend, wouldn’t it?” Hongbin grins from the couch.

Jaehwan gasps, making his way over. “You told me you didn’t have a boyfriend! Who is this guy? I’ll have to beat him up!”

Hongbin laughs around the kiss Jaehwan bends down to press to his lips. “Will you?”

“Oh yeah,” Jaehwan smirks. “Describe him some more so I make sure I get the right guy.”

“Ah, well you see,” Hongbin starts, burying his fingers in Jaehwan’s hair and dragging him down onto the couch. “He’s tall and _really_ good looking. He’s somehow handsome _and_ cute and his haircut right now is _perfect_. Not to mention he really knows what he’s doing in bed. Just thinking about the things he’s going to do to me later makes me want to–”

“ _Guys_!” Wonshik cries, pivoting around from his keyboard. “I’m _right_ here.”

Hongbin smiles sheepishly. “Sorry, Wonshik.”

“Sorry,” Jaehwan grins before asking, “Where’s Taekwoon?”

They’d coordinated to all sit down to dinner tonight since they’ve been missing each other’s mealtimes. “He went to the shop,” Wonshik says.

“Hakyeon and Sanghyuk can’t come?” Jaehwan asks. “I thought Hakyeon was on holidays.”

“Hakyeon’s school is having planning week and Sanghyuk has placement this week,” Hongbin explains before Wonshik can. “I told you that the other day.”

Jaehwan pokes his tongue out. “Sorry,” he says sheepishly. “But Taekwoon normally feeds Hakyeon, doesn’t he?”

“There are leftovers over there.”

“There’s always leftovers,” Jaehwan states. “I’m practically living on Taekwoon’s leftovers.”

“So _that’s_ where it’s all going,” Wonshik rolls his eyes.

He keeps coming home expecting to have leftovers for lunch but then they’re already gone. He doesn’t mind too much because there’s always something else to eat, but until now he’d thought it was Hongbin.

“You know Taekwoon leaves that for Wonshik, right?” Hongbin asks.

Jaehwan shrugs. Leftovers means he doesn’t have to spend money on food and it’s better than what he can cook for himself anyway. They let the topic die and Wonshik goes back to focussing on his keyboard while Hongbin starts to quiz Jaehwan about his day, demanding more details about the call-back.

“I think they’re having trouble deciding between me and this other guy. He’s _amazing_ … _and_ a better dancer than me so I think he’ll get it.”

Hongbin squeezes his arm. “Just do your best.”

Jaehwan grins, pulling Hongbin’s hand up to kiss it. “Of course.”

Not satisfied with only his hand being kissed, Hongbin leans forward to capture Jaehwan’s lips with his own. They quickly begin to get worked up again and Wonshik is just about to remind them that he’s _still_ here when Taekwoon _finally_ gets home. Taekwoon, arms laden with shopping bags, greets Jaehwan briefly before going straight to the kitchen. Barely a minute later they hear him groan and reappear in the doorway.

“Forget something?” Wonshik says.

“The eggs,” Taekwoon sighs, both dinner and dessert tonight will use eggs and he’d forgotten them.

Jaehwan gets up from the couch. “I’ll go.”

He holds his hand out for money and Taekwoon doesn’t even hesitate to pull his wallet out of his pocket and hand over his card. “Get free range.”

“Got it, I’ll be back soon.”

“Dinner’s gonna be late then, I take it?” Hongbin grins. “Good, that means I can keep procrastinating. I still have five pictures to edit before tomorrow.”

Taekwoon scolds him softly and then disappears back into the kitchen, he figures he can at least get all of the prep work out of the way and maybe start on dessert even without the eggs.

Wonshik turns off the keyboard. “Need help?” he calls.

“No, go shower,” Taekwoon says.

“Okay.”

The ear-splitting shriek from Wonshik’s room startles Hongbin so badly he drops the fork he was about to place on the table. It clatters noisily while the worst-case scenarios run through Hongbin’s head. Wonshik’s somehow injured himself while getting dressed. There was a murderer hiding in the cupboard that’s jumped out and now Wonshik is fighting for his life. Wonshik touched an outlet while still wet and has been electrocuted.

“Spider!” Wonshik screams. “Spider! Taekwoon!”

Hongbin, in utter disbelief that _this_ is still an issue, puts a hand over his heart and breathes out a sigh of relief. An exasperated sigh precedes Taekwoon’s exit of the kitchen. He grabs a shoe from by the front door and marches into the bedroom to rescue Wonshik, refusing to let how hilarious he thinks Wonshik’s bug fear is show on his face. Recovering from the shock, Hongbin has no such reservation and is cackling by the time the sound of shoe hitting wall comes.

Hongbin can still remember back in high school when Wonshik’s had convenient excuses to leave the classroom whenever a bug was discovered. “Still, Wonshik?” he laughs.

“Shut up,” Wonshik grumbles as he follows Taekwoon out of the bedroom, only half dressed and eyes on the shoe that squished the spider. “You _did_ get it, right? You made sure?”

Taekwoon fights not to smile. “I got it. Promise.”

There had been a lot of alarmed cries from Wonshik over the summer but now that the weather is cooling, Taekwoon is expecting fewer calls for help. Not that he hates rescuing Wonshik, it’s kind of adorable, though Taekwoon isn’t going to voice that any time soon. Taekwoon throws the shoe back by the door and returns to the kitchen.

Wonshik, on the other hand, tackles Hongbin. “You dick,” he growls. “Stop laughing.”

Despite the sharp jab in the ribs, Hongbin can’t stop laughing and so he takes his punishment.

“I’m not sure what’s going on,” Jaehwan says, walking in and taking in the situation. “But as long as I get to watch I have no complaints.”

Practically wrestling, Hongbin and Wonshik look up and Jaehwan meets their eyes with a raised eyebrow that is definitely suggestive. “Pervert,” Wonshik says with a tut, getting to his feet.

Hongbin is wheezing, still trying to take a normal breath. “What’s new?”

“Rude!” Jaehwan cries.

“You’re all so loud,” Taekwoon complains from the kitchen door. “Wonshik, go get dressed or you’re not getting dinner. Jaehwan, give me the eggs. Hongbin, do your assignment.”

Wonshik springs into action, ignoring the whispers of ‘ _Whipped_ ’ that follow him, he also chooses not to point out that Jaehwan wastes no time hurrying to the kitchen.

Dinner ends with a chorus of, “Thanks for dinner, Taekwoon.”

“Mm,” Taekwoon says.

“I’ll clean up,” Wonshik says.

“Time.”

Wonshik gasps, pulling out his phone to check. “Shit,” he sighs. “I gotta get going.”

“All cool,” Hongbin insists. “We’ve got it.”

Wonshik hurries off to brush his teeth. The bus for his writing class on Monday nights comes at seven-thirty. So far the writing class has been his favourite so he’s reluctant to get the next bus and risk being late. He knows he only got lucky finding classes in walking distance, but having to get the bus is pretty inconvenient.

“Are you going to stay here tonight?” Wonshik asks when he gets back, backpack over his shoulder.

“I’m going to take some leftovers to Hakyeon,” Taekwoon says.

“Okay,” Wonshik smiles as he kisses Taekwoon’s cheek. “I need to come back here so I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

The knowing looks that Jaehwan and Hongbin exchange when Wonshik leaves are something that Taekwoon chooses to ignore. They’ve trying to drop him little covert hints that they want to say something for weeks now, so Taekwoon is glad he already has the taking food for Hakyeon excuse. While they clean the kitchen and dishes, Taekwoon packs away the food for Hakyeon. He leaves some here for someone to eat tomorrow and he now knows it’ll probably be Jaehwan.

“Say ‘hi’ to Hakyeon for me,” Jaehwan calls after Taekwoon when he leaves the kitchen.

“Me too!” Hongbin says.

Taekwoon nods before remembering they can’t see him. “Okay,” he says.

“How was it?” Sanghyuk’s mother, Eunjung, asks when he gets home from placement.

Sanghyuk hangs up her car keys and collapses into a seat at the kitchen table. “Good. I liked it.”

“How was the traffic?”

“Not too bad.”

Compared to the traffic Hakyeon sits in every day, this had been nothing. While Sanghyuk had understood what Hakyeon’s day involved before this placement, he now has a newfound respect for Hakyeon, especially the commuting. How does Hakyeon spend three hours commuting every day, then come home and do more work?

For the last few weeks, Sanghyuk hadn’t blamed Hakyeon for their lack of time together. But now, with this new understanding, Sanghyuk feels guilty for wish Hakyeon would just make a little time and give him some attention.

“What’s for dinner?” Sanghyuk asks, hoping that food will make him feel better.

“It’s the same question every day from you,” Eunjung teases.

Sanghyuk pouts. “I’m a growing boy.”

“Ah yes, my growing nineteen year old _boy_.”

“I’m not nineteen yet,” Sanghyuk states.

Eunjung rolls her eyes. “Close enough,” she laughs. “Do you want chicken or beef?”

“Hmm,” Sanghyuk mutters, pondering the choices. “What would we be having with it?”

Sanghyuk’s mother sighs. “Does it matter?”

“Of course it does!”

“Probably vegetables. There’s some pasta if you want that.”

“Both.”

She rolls her eyes and starts pulling food out of the fridge and cupboard. “So beef then?”

“Thanks mum!”

Knowing that dinner won’t be ready for a while, Sanghyuk goes to get changed, falling onto his bed once he’s done so. He wants to call Hakyeon, to discuss his day and everything that happened, but realises as he’s scrolling through his contacts that Hakyeon will still be driving. Instead Sanghyuk calls Minho.

“So?” Minho answers. “How was placement?”

Minho’s placement started this week too, though he got lucky and got a school much closer. Sanghyuk resents him.

“It was fun,” Sanghyuk grins. “My class had sport. I forgot that sport was fun in primary school.”

“Sport sounds fun,” Minho laughs. “Mine had I.T. Kids these days are stupid good at computers.”

Sanghyuk holds back a comment on Minho’s lack of computer skills and instead asks about the teacher Minho is trailing. The time until dinner is ready passes nicely, but Sanghyuk wishes that he was sharing his excitement with Hakyeon.

It’s a little later than normal when Hakyeon gets home. He grumbles about having to sit through the traffic just to do planning he can do at home. The grumbling cuts off when he sees that Taekwoon’s shoes are here.

“Woonie?” he calls.

“Your dinner is in the oven,” Taekwoon says, appearing in the bathroom doorway, toothbrush still in hand. “It’s only leftovers from Wonshik’s though.”

Hakyeon grins. “That’s okay. I feel bad that you cook for me every night.”

Taekwoon shrugs and disappears back into the bathroom while Hakyeon heads into the kitchen to check out his dinner situation. He’s sad he couldn’t join the others for dinner, or even eat with Hyukkie, but grateful nevertheless.

As he sits down with his food, kept warm in the oven, Taekwoon comes out of his bedroom changed for the night. “Is Wonshik sleeping here tonight?” he asks.

Taekwoon shakes his head and joins Hakyeon at the table. It feels a bit weird not being where Wonshik is but maybe it’s for the best. Since he hasn’t been sleeping well, sleeping apart means that he can’t accidentally wake Wonshik up in the middle of the night.

“Want to watch a movie then?” Hakyeon says. “I don’t have any work tonight.”

“Sure,” Taekwoon agrees.

“Awesome! Let me just finish this first,” Hakyeon grins.

While he eats, he tells Taekwoon about his day and co-workers, knowing that Taekwoon isn’t going to offer any information about his own day. Once he’s finished eating and gotten changed while Taekwoon cleaned up despite his protests, Hakyeon settles on the couch with Taekwoon and it feels like old times. 


	6. Distraction Tactics Again

**Year 3: Semester 1: Week 6: Thursday**

The first two knocks on the front door go ignored but when the third, more frenzied knock comes, Taekwoon sighs and pulls himself away from his sketchbook to go answer it.

“Oh my god,” Sanghyuk cries when the door opens. “I _really_ have to pee.”

He shoves his laptop into Taekwoon’s arms and races for the bathroom. “Where’s your key?” Taekwoon asks with a frown, making his way back to the couch.

“It’s in my bag in the car!” Sanghyuk calls from the bathroom.

Since there’s no public transport anywhere near the school he got for placement, he’s been taking his mum’s car. His own keys have spent the last few days buried at the bottom of his bag in favour of the house key attached to the car key and he’d forgotten this in his dash up to the apartment.

Taekwoon at some point became the keeper of everyone’s spare key; he suspects it’s because he’s always home and easy to track down. He has a key to his sister’s place all the way on the other side of the city, as well as to Jaehwan’s place. He has Hakyeon’s spare car key, which he keeps on his own keys rather than stashed in a drawer out of some paranoia that they both lock themselves out of the apartment one day. The key to Wonshik’s apartment is part relationship milestone and part convenience. All of these keys in addition to his own apartment key and the keys his has to his parent’s house means that his keys are a heavy, unwieldy mess, so he can understand Sanghyuk not wanting to merge his own keys with his mother’s.

Sanghyuk returns from the bathroom looking much calmer and falls into Hakyeon’s armchair with a sigh. “I got stuck in traffic and needed to pee so bad.”

“Isn’t it a bit early for traffic?” Taekwoon wonders, checking the time and following up with, “Why are you home early?”

Sanghyuk rolls his eyes. “So, apparently, today is the last day of term.”

“But Hakyeon’s school started holidays last week?”

“Hakyeon works at a private school, their holidays are different.”

Despite the students being on break, the teachers are absolutely not. In addition to preparing for next term, Hakyeon’s school is undertaking professional development and everyone is required to attend in person, so he doesn’t get a break from commuting this time around. Sanghyuk had been disappointed when he’d learnt this, since he’d been hoping that the holidays would mean he could get some extra time with Hakyeon.

“Isn’t it Thursday today?”

“ _Right_?!” Sanghyuk cries, agitation growing. “It’s flipping Thursday! So now, I need to email my coordinator to sort it out because I need to do five days, but I’ve only got three and a half! God, so annoying. They should have known this before placing me there!”

“Are other schools finishing today?” Taekwoon asks.

“No! Minho’s school finishes an hour early tomorrow, so he gets his five days no issue.”

Taekwoon leans forward and flips open Sanghyuk’s laptop, getting the process started since he looks ready to spend the next hour ranting and the sooner he gets it fixed the better. While the laptop boots up, Sanghyuk complains and Taekwoon makes all of the appropriate agreement noises in all of the appropriate places before finally handing it over. Annoyed on Sanghyuk’s behalf, but also very amused by the very angry way Sanghyuk types out his email, Taekwoon returns to his sketchbook.

After three emails back and forth with his coordinator, a frustrated phone call to admin which included some more ranting when he was put on hold and actual fury when the call disconnected, Sanghyuk’s placement situation is dealt with. Assured that his whole degree is no longer in jeopardy, Sanghyuk can finally relax and as he does, he takes in the tiny smile on the corner of Taekwoon’s lips.

“You’re in a good mood,” he says before he can think better of it.

Taekwoon doesn’t look up from what he’s working on but he does give a little hum of confirmation.

“Did something good happen?”

Taekwoon pretends that his cheeks don’t heat in response. “Wonshik came home for lunch and we went out.”

For a moment, Sanghyuk can’t help but think that it’s pretty sad for Taekwoon’s highlight of the week to be having lunch with Wonshik, then Sanghyuk realises he’s actually pretty envious. Going out to eat with Hakyeon would make his _month_ let alone his week. It’s been a good while since they’ve done more than hang out on the couch and then go to bed.

“He never comes home during the day,” Taekwoon adds, yanking Sanghyuk out of his self-pity.

“He was here last Thursday too, wasn’t he?” Sanghyuk asks, trying to resist sinking down into a bad mood over the Hakyeon situation again.

Taekwoon looks up with a frown. “What?”

Sanghyuk frowns back. “I came by to borrow Hakyeon’s charger before work and you were both asleep on the couch.”

Taekwoon stares, processing. Surely, he’d have woken up if Wonshik had come? He’s usually such a light sleeper, he can’t have been that tired, could he? It does explain that pillow though. And Sanghyuk had come by too?

“I didn’t know,” he says.

“You were completely out of it,” Sanghyuk says. “I slammed the door into the wall and everything. Which reminds me, we really need to do something about that or the wall is screwed.”

Taekwoon blinks, in a state of complete disbelief. He’s such a light sleeper that normally nothing can happen without waking him. The wind picking up, Wonshik shifting in his sleep, Hongbin or Jaehwan making noise in the other room. He must have been incredibly tired to sleep through Wonshik and Sanghyuk coming and going. His stomach twists uneasily, he’d missed out on precious time with Wonshik because he’d been asleep.

He looks down at his hand. “Wonshik didn’t say anything…”

Sanghyuk used to think that Taekwoon is pretty expressionless, but these days he knows better and can pick out how Taekwoon is feeling fairly accurately. He knows now that when Taekwoon is actually blank, unreactive and expressionless, that something is truly wrong. Just as he’d been able to see that tiny smile, Sanghyuk can see all of the emotion fall off of Taekwoon’s face now. 

“He said something about wanting to make sure you got some sleep or something like that,” Sanghyuk explains.

But Wonshik not saying anything isn’t what’s bothering Taekwoon. It’s the missing out on time together and, more importantly, Wonshik giving up what would normally be study time to nap. This is probably the reason why he’d been busy on Saturday. Is it going to be the same this weekend? Had important study time been used so they could go out for lunch.

He knows he’s not responsible for it. That in the great scheme of things, he would see Wonshik for the same amount of time and Wonshik would study for the same amount of time, but Taekwoon still feels guilty. Is Wonshik using his weekend, his precious free time, to make up for spending time with Taekwoon during the week?

Certain he’s just destroyed Taekwoon’s good mood, Sanghyuk tries to distract him by asking, “What else did you do today? I really only see Hongbin these days.”

Taekwoon doesn’t look up. “Nothing,” he says. Because it’s true. He did nothing today. Just like how he does nothing every other day.

“Oh,” Sanghyuk mutters, staring at the ground.

Taekwoon glances up at his tone, realises they’re guilt-spiralling each other and asks, “Did you sort out your placement?”

Not only does he feel bad for making Sanghyuk feel bad, but if Sanghyuk thinks _he_ feels bad then he might tell Hakyeon and Hakyeon will tell Wonshik and neither of them need to worry about anything more than what they’ve already got going on. Sanghyuk sighs, seeing Taekwoon distraction tactic and letting him get away with it.

“I’ll have to make up the two days when schools go back. Apparently, a couple of other students have to do the same.”

Feeling that the conversation has come to a natural end and that they risk upsetting each other again if they try to talk about something else, Taekwoon decides that it’s time to make dinner. “Are you eating here?” he asks.

Sanghyuk sighs. “Nah, I better go home since mum’s expecting me.”

“Okay. No work?”

“I got my shifts covered since I thought I was going to be late,” Sanghyuk explains, suddenly enraged again but now over lost wages.

“Oh.”

“I’ll see you later,” he says, now hating his university for screwing up and himself for upsetting Taekwoon.

With Sanghyuk gone, Taekwoon wanders into the kitchen. It’s quite early for dinner, not even five o’clock. But he figures he can cook something that takes a while and then take it to Wonshik’s for Jaehwan and Hongbin. As he pulls out ingredients his thoughts return to what he’d been thinking earlier; he’s a nuisance to Wonshik as well as to Hakyeon and now to Sanghyuk too.

Right now he barely works enough to pay his half of the rent so all food money is coming from Hakyeon and Wonshik. Every now and then he notices that his parents have sent him some money without telling him which means that Hakyeon has told them he isn’t working. He’s torn between feeling ashamed of himself for needing their money and guilty for not thanking them, not ready to talk to them after Christmas.

Slamming the fridge door shut, Taekwoon barely holds back a frustrated growl before clenching his fists and forcing himself to breathe. Why is everyone so happy for him to live off them like a parasite? He’s an adult, but nowhere near independent. He isn’t angry at them, just himself, for having to be dependent on them. He can’t even get his hair cut alone.

The flare of emotion is brief and soon enough a numbing calm as swept over and Taekwoon is almost annoyed at himself for getting worked up. He wants to be more independent, but he has no idea how to go about it so there’s no point in getting upset. Right now, all he can do is make sure the others are eating well.

He prepares dinner mindlessly, packs it into containers to take to Wonshik’s and then cleans up. Two servings are left for Hakyeon, for dinner tonight and tomorrow’s lunch, and then Taekwoon heads off. He gets to Wonshik’s apartment just as Jaehwan is.

“Ooh,” Jaehwan sings when he catches up, nudging Taekwoon’s shoulder and eying the bag. “You brought me dinner.”

Even Jaehwan’s soft, easy affection can’t prompt Taekwoon to smile.

Hongbin is fairly certain he intended his stress-nap to be short but given how groggy he is he clearly slept for a while. “Hongbin,” Jaehwan says. “Wakey, wakey.”

“What time is it?” Hongbin asks as he sits up. He can feel his hair sitting weirdly but does nothing to fix it.

“Almost seven-thirty.”

Hongbin groans, he’d slept for two hours.

“Got a deadline?” Jaehwan guesses with a grin.

“Yeah, assignment due tomorrow.”

“Good thing you’ve had a super refreshing nap and can stay up late working on it then, huh?”

Hongbin glares at Jaehwan and his teasing. “Shut up. I set an alarm for six.”

“Well I got home at quarter to six and no alarms went off,” Jaehwan says, crossing the room to pull Hongbin out of bed. “Up! Taekwoon says he can heat up your dinner now or you can wait for Wonshik to get home.”

“Now would be good,” Hongbin says, allowing himself to be dragged to his feet.

“Now please!” Jaehwan bellows to Taekwoon in the lounge room and Hongbin smacks him on behalf of their neighbours.

“How was your day?” he asks.

Jaehwan smiles with such delight that Hongbin’s stomach decides that now is the time to be a bit swoopy. “I got the part,” Jaehwan says. “We start rehearsing on Monday.”

Hongbin isn’t proud of the sound that comes out of his mouth, but he’s certain his own grin matches Jaehwan’s. “I knew you would! Congrats!” Hongbin cries, throwing his arms around Jaehwan and dragging him into an excited hug.

Jaehwan laughs and wraps his arms around Hongbin’s waist. “Thanks, Binnie!”

“Let’s go out for a drink,” Hongbin suggests.

“You literally just woke up,” Jaehwan protests. “Also it’s a _Thursday_ night and you have an assignment due tomorrow!”

“A few drinks won’t kill me,” Hongbin says.

Jaehwan rolls his eyes. He should definitely say no to Hongbin but he knows he never will. “Alright, let’s go then.”

“Cool, let me just eat and we can go to that bar we like.”

“Awesome.”

Hongbin hastily pulls on some jeans and a half-decent t-shirt. “Think we can convince Taekwoon to come?”

“Not a chance,” Jaehwan says, very aware that Taekwoon’s mood isn’t great tonight and that Taekwoon has never once agreed to go drinking.

Taekwoon looks up at their noisy entrance, gaze torn form the nature documentary he’d been half-watching while lounging on the couch. They can see the question in his eyes without him having to ask and Hongbin wastes no time.

“Jaehwan got the role he’s been auditioning for,” he announces loudly.

Jaehwan thinks that Hongbin might be prouder that he got the role than Jaehwan is himself. Jaehwan thinks it’s absurdly cute and so says nothing, certain Hongbin would act differently if he knew just to tease.

“Well done,” Taekwoon says.

“Thanks,” Jaehwan grins back.

“Dinner now?”

Cleary Taekwoon had been zoned out earlier or he’d have heard Jaehwan’s obnoxious screaming, Hongbin notes. “Yes, thanks. I can wait for Wonshik if you can’t be bothered.”

“It’s fine,” Taekwoon says, getting up.

“Want to come get a drink with us?” Jaehwan asks despite already knowing the answer.

Taekwoon shakes his head. “No, I’m alright.”

“Okay,” Jaehwan smiles. “I don’t think we’ll be out late.”

“Wonshik’ll probably go to bed pretty early tonight so we’ll be quiet coming in either way,” Hongbin says.

Taekwoon nods, glad that Jaehwan and Hongbin are considerate of Wonshik’s insane schedule, and heads into the kitchen to get Hongbin’s dinner going.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As with all of my fics, old and new, comments are welcome.


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